Viewed once in theaters, April 2011
From the previews it's often hard to judge whether a film is worth watching. For me, it was difficult to discern if Hop was going to be worth my time. It's bright, colorful, with James Marsden starring (one of my favorite actors) and really cool-looking computer-generated talking animals. Boy, what a trusting naive audience member I was. This movie sucker-punched me with silliness and a plethora of one-line groaners.
Basically, this is a repackaged, revamped, reimagined telling of a Santa Claus story. Substitute a cute bunny who just wants to be a drummer ("E.B.", a not-quite-clever name--stands for "Easter Bunny") for Santa; change Santa's workshop into a huge candy factory; switch the cute button-nosed elves into fluffy, dim-witted chicks who never quite develop into full chickens--complete with a "sleigh" that said chicks tote along when they fly around the world the night before Easter (I can't make this stuff up); and throw in a good-hearted slacker who has a dream and gets caught up in an incredible adventure that fulfills childhood fantasies (Marsden as "Fred O'Hare"--and we're just getting started). E.B. is the heir to the Easter Bunny estate as his father gets older by the year. There's just one problem--E.B. wants to be a drummer for a rock band, not the boring ol' Easter Bunny. So, he runs away from home to chase his dreams in Hollywood, U.S.A. Along the way, he bumps into (literally) Fred, who has just been kicked out of his parents' house to get a life and a job. Fred can't settle down long enough to keep a job, and he's tormented by the thought that he saw the Easter Bunny when he was a kid. Back at home on Easter Island (*groan*), Easter Bunny Sr. experiences a coup/mutiny at the hands of his head chick, Carlos, who has always dreamed of becoming the Easter Chick. (No, really, a chick wants to be the new Easter Bunny.) To save your brain from this sad example of a children's movie, **SPOILER ALERT!!**, I'll tell you that Fred and E.B. eventually decide to share the responsibilities of the Easter Bunny. This might be an endurable story, if Fred hadn't begun the entire movie with a voiceover that blatantly says, "This is the story of how I became the first human Easter Bunny." Wow. Pure movie magic, this is.
The biggest problems with this film--wow, where do I begin? Marsden is martyred as an actor; he does his best with what he's given, but he's restrained by the limits of the story itself. E.B. (voiced by surprisingly kid-friendly Russell Brand) is an interesting character sometimes, but he pales halfway through the movie and becomes a one-dimensional character who doesn't drive the story forward. Goofy, over-the-top (in a bad way) antagonists are painfully silly--Carlos becomes one big headache, the dumb-as-a-rock chick minions are obnoxious after a while, and the "Pink Berets" super-top-secret-covert-spy-group of fluffy female bunnies are interminable. (The PB's use tranquilizer darts, nunchucks, incredible ninja-skills, and super interrogation techniques--but somehow they can't quite catch up to the lazy and easygoing Fred and E.B.) Halfway through the film, I and my family mentally checked out and groaned our way through the rest of the film. Comparable to Gulliver's Travels (2011), this film is just plain awful. Maybe three-year-olds would like it, but I'm of the opinion that kids should not be talked down to. Hop does just that.
NEGATIVES:
>>Profanity: I can at least say this: the off-color language in Hop goes no farther than "crap," "butt," "poo," "buttocks," and other third-grade "teehee, you said that!" words.
>>Violence: Mostly campy, 1960's Batman-type violence. Characters are slapped, fall down stairs, and maybe a ninja-fight or two. E.B. stages a "life-threatening" collision with Fred's car, but it's obvious he's perfectly fine. Fred and Easter Bunny Sr. are tied to a basket with licorice and suspended over a boiling vat of pink candy (no joke)--Fred eventually figures out that he can just eat through the licorice, even though he hates it.
>>Spiritual Content: This is another problem I have with this film--it completely ignores the reason for Easter and tries to secularize it into "Christmas-in-April". There is absolutely no mention of Christ or Christianity besides one painting of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel mural, with Carlos substituted for Adam. Destiny as an idea is talked about several times, and it is heavily pounded into the moviegoer that the Easter Bunny as a franchise has an unexplained magical ability that powers the candy factory, the sleigh, and the chicks' biology-defying flight. Part of the magic comes from moonlight, part of it from a scepter called the "Egg of Destiny," and part of it from the belief of children in the Easter Bunny.
>>Alcohol and Drugs: The clumsy Pink Beret uses an asthma inhaler.
>>Sexual Content: A few women wear almost-revealing clothing. David Hasselhoff makes an appearance. Upon first reaching Hollywood, E.B. heads straight for the Playboy Mansion; he's told only sexy bunnies are allowed in, to which he replies, "Well, I'm a bunny, and I'm incredibly sexy." Someone tells Fred that he deserves to have "hot babes." E.B. tells Fred that he's allowed to "see other bunnies" if he wants (wait, what?). The song "I Want Candy" is interspersed throughout the film, innocently, of course.
Bottom line, Hop is a groaner that is better left alone. Great-looking CGI and a great protagonist are the only things going for this film. Marsden's acting talent is completely wasted on the flat and clueless Fred. E.B.'s talent of pooping jellybeans is kindof annoying. So many of these jokes are aimed at five-year-olds on a sugar high. It all comes together in a nauseatingly-goofy film that wanders around aimlessly for an hour and a half. I think this film is great for four-year-olds. Everyone else won't be able to stand it.
1 out of 6 stars
So that everyone (including myself) may benefit from it, please feel free to leave your own personal opinion of this film.
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